Notes To Self
28th April 2012
I’m Posting this here because I tend to forget this some times. and I tend to get very very depressed about it all and sometimes I think I need a reminder. And this is such an important thing for me to be reminded of.
I’m not ‘normal’ I’m not ‘healthy’ I don’t have a body that just works. And I have a *LOT* of hard work in front of me. Heaps and heaps of it. To aid me in that work my Dr has given me a lot of meds.
These meds are not so that I can be comfortable. They are not so that I can find a place in my days that doesn’t hurt and stay there. These meds are so that I can fight. These meds are so that I can be in heaps of pain. So that I can be in the pain, but from fighting.
I could just take them and sit and enjoy the lack of pain (like I have been to some degree). But if I do that, I will be on them for life, I will be addicted to narcotics and my body will require them to be increased in dose and strength until I can not take any more. I could do that.
But I have no desire to do that. These meds are to calm the pain I am in now, so that I can do the work that needs to be done. And so I can feel *that* pain, rather than the normal pain.
Basically, I’m going to be in pain either way. So I made, no Dr, no partner, no parent, no friend no anybody *I* made the decision to go onto the narcotics full time to give myself a chance to deal with the pain differently.
I could go off the medication and go back to my every day pain levels and not function. OR I can stay on them, and do my work outs, do my stretches, get my massages, use the hydrospa and all the other things I need to do to build muscle mass, to train the muscle I already have, to work together, in ways they should in order to (hopefully) reduce the pain in the future. I’m not taking these meds to sit on my ass and enjoy the lack of pain - however nice it is to not be in pain, and however tempting it is to stay, not being in pain. I have to fight, and sometimes I forget that.
So here it is. Your in pain, take the meds, neck up, do the work, and get off the meds, and (hopefully) lessen the pain.
Its not a case of ‘you can do this’, it is a case of ‘YOU WILL DO THIS’!!!!!!!!
Most people think that having lots of willpower is a sign of being a good or moral person. In reality, willpower is less like a virtue and more like a muscle of the brain. It’s a muscle that can be easily overwhelmed if it takes on too much at once-kind of like your pectoral muscles would be if you tried to bench press a school bus.
The implications? You are not a good person or a bad person. You are just skilled orunskilled at using this brain resource to accomplish your goals!
Want to get more skilled at using this muscle? Here are some tips:
- Prepare in advance to prevent slip ups
-chose a day out of the week to plan and measure out your meals
-keep healthy snacks with you at all times (fruit, veggies, nuts)
-have everything needed for the gym ahead of time so you can just grab your duffle bag & go
- Do not take on too much at once
-by trying to accomplish too many tasks at once you are more likely to get overwhelmed
-choose 1 or 2 goals to really focus on at a time
-once you form a habit, performing these goals become a routine. after you accomplish this you can choose new goals to work on
- Do not starve yourself
- whether it has to do with weight loss or not, you’re going to have an extra hard time keeping to your goals if you let yourself get too hungry
- using willpower actually takes real energy!
- Distract yourself
- it is easier to resist temptation if you are not thinking about it
- ie. read, go for a walk, meet up with a friend, paint your nails, etc
- Strengthen your willpower by exercising it
- use your success in one area to build willpower in others
- by choosing a healthy snack over an unhealthy snack may also help you choose to go to the gym rather than just sit around and watch tv
- Visualize your goals
- when you feel tempted to do something unhealthy, remember that this small sacrifice will make a big difference in the long run
- so fantasize how you will look and feel when you finally reach your goal and consider if giving into short-term satisfaction will be worth it
- Find a way to make accomplishing your goals fun
- you are more likely to stay on track if you are doing things you enjoy
It’s never too late to start working on your willpower.
A NOTE FOR YOU
Okay Lels… Next time you feel bad, Next time you feel like crap.. you are to remind yourself of what you did today!!!!
You woke up, you felt like total shit, and you had to cancelled your appointment with your Personal Trainer. By 7am you had taken 4 of your 14 painkillers for the day, and you were taking them on the within half an hour of your repeat time for the whole day, because you needed them. You came home, and you did this.
You did 650cals in one episode of Grey’s Anatomy, with NO pain (thank you painkillers!!!), and now, your going to go and clean and pack for your sisters wedding!!!!
Sooooo gooodddd!!! YOUR AWESOME!!!!