You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her.
I build my life around “to-do-when this flare is over lists”, “can-do lists”, and “will-try-to-do lists.” And even with those, I have to be really patient with myself about the things that just aren’t going to get done right now or anytime soon.
I find to do list to be very useful. I like to make them, and then note which ones *must* be done today, and then I try to do those, everything else can wait, and then I try to get them done in the following days and weeks. I add to it as I need to. And I love them, but in no way do I use them as a way of restricting myself.
My other tool is to make the list and then to aim to do half of them, or to physically make a second list of the things I think I can do, and then I do half of that.
Stopping and taking time to rest and to look after myself is so important. Having the list to remind me of things I may forget, but, it is not the be all and end all of tasks.