I will never trust any ‘ally’ who talks about how we “need” them
That’s shit we hear from our abusers, thanks
That’s called manipulation, power play, emotional blackmail
this is so brilliant and succinct - i never thought about the why of why that was so shitty before. wow.
This is one of the things I find so scary about my ex. I thought he was helping me so much, and to start he really was, he gave me so much and helped me do so many things, but then it started to change, it started to become about me not being able to do things without him, and I became to lose my knowledge of how strong I can be and how determined I am and how I can fight for myself and how well I can take care of myself.
Since we split I am finding how just how much I can, and can’t, do for myself, I am capable, I am ill, but I am not useless, I am able to look after myself, and that knowledge again, plus what he gave me at the start, which is the ability to believe in looking after myself, makes all the difference.